Absence
by Kathryn Montague
Summary: Sophie Hatter is left alone with the ruins of her life after the tragic death of her husband, Howl. But after she is thrown back into the arms of a man she'd never cared for, but now finds herself dreaming of, Sophie must come to terms with the past, and as clues to a secret plot uncover themselves around her, this might just be her last chance at happiness... With or without Howl.
For Diana- we miss you.

 **Chapter 1- The Problem of Sophie**

I stood in possibly the ugliest church ever, waiting for everyone to leave. No body. Nothing to say goodbye to. Just me. And him. Wherever he was.

I didn't talk. Talking seemed silly. Instead I wandered through the halls of an empty church, singing in my head his favourite song. The one he asked me to sing before he went away. Why did I let him go? How could I? How could I let him waltz off like that, straight onto the boat that never even made it half way to Strangia? What kind of a person did that make me?

Who was I kidding? I knew exactly what kind of a person that made me. A traitor. A monster. A murderer.

And this funeral was my punishment. For murdering him. For murdering my husband.

When they told me, I knew right away what I'd done. It was my fault.

And yet, no-one missed him as I did. No-one felt the absence of him as I felt it, and yet it was everywhere. In the way the wind blew, in the way the brook chuckled, in the way the flowers bloomed the wrong colour. He was always there, reminding me that I could never be happy again. Reminding me that I betrayed him.

I fell to the floor and wept long after the church bells rang.

(-)

 **Four Years Later**

Lettie Hatter was pleased with her life. She married well (and insisted on keeping her own name, of course), had children, became very well-respected in her circle of friends, she even became the Manager of Cesari's Bakery. But there was the problem of her sister, Sophie. And that problem was that Sophie basically never left her...uh...house. If you could call it that. It looked more like a flying frog to Lettie's pretty eyes. But still. This was getting serious. Lettie needed a sister she could be proud of, not a depressed recluse who lived with a pubescent boy and a talking fire. (Who had a little bit _too_ much to talk about, in her opinion.)

So there came a time when Lettie Hatter decided that enough was enough. There was only one cure for what was eating at Sophie.

Dating.

And she knew exactly who turn to.

(-)

I sat in a chair by the hearth, flicking through a book I'd read before but couldn't decifer now. Why wouldn't the words stay still on the page? Reading had always been one of my favourite things...

An image of Howl, just before he left for the last time, flashed before my eyes. So. Just another punishment. I put the book back on the shelf. Another thing I'd miss.

There came a fierce pounding at the door. I turned to Calcifer, who mumbled "Hat Shop door." And continued burning through a particularly large log. I wandered over to the front door and turned the doorknob to yellow-down. As I opened the door, Lettie came running through the door, threw herself at me and cried: "Sophie! I have the best news! You're never going to believe it! Just wait till I tell you!"

I gently prised her off of me and offered her a seat at the table. She sat down elegantly, and cleared her throat in a grand manner. I bustled around, boiling water to make her a cup of tea.

"Sophie." She began, "I understand that when someone you love dies, you need time to mourn." I stiffened. "But this has gone on long enough. You need to move on from Howl. You need to have a life again. And I've found the perfect solution to this problem." As I turned to tell her, for the millionth time, that I was fine, she pushed towards me a small picture of a handsome young man. I recognised his face immediately.

"This is Prince Justin. He's your new boyfriend."

(-)

Ben Sullivan stirred that evening's dinner, soup, and listened to the faint sound of his two daughters playing in the parlor. He added more pepper and continued stirring, oblivious to the fact that his shirt hem had caught on fire after catching on the stove. He heard the sound of his wife come in, and turned to greet her with a bright smile. She marched into the kitchen triumphantly and set her bag down on the table before dipping her hand in the basin and flicking the water at her husband's newly-ruined shirt. He looked down at the ugly brown burn mark and groaned. She laughed and kissed his cheek. He adjusted the heat on the cooker and returned to stirring. His wife perched delicately on the edge of the table and crossed her legs.

"How did it go?" He asked, taking bowls out from the nearest cupboard and lining them up on the counter.

Lettie Hatter grinned. "Perfectly. Of course, she didn't go silently. It was not easy _at all_. But, in the end, it wasn't _too_ hard to bring her round to my way of thinking. I mean, I'm only doing this for her happiness."

"So what's the plan, then?" Ben asked, pouring soup into four bowls.

"Well, I figured that she'd be slightly... Rusty, with the whole dating thing. Actually, I don't think she's _ever_ dated! She and Howl kind of just met and... Poof! Love at first sight. Which is cute and all, but very unlikely to happen twice in a row. But Sophie's not the person to just date any old shmo, however, it's have to be someone she had a connection with. So I got thinking, who exactly fits that description? And then I had this inkling of Sophie telling me about how she and Howl got that spell off of Prince Justin."

"Prince Justin?" He asked warily, putting the bowls on the table. "Lily! Rose! Dinner is on the table!" He called.

Lettie continued as two small girls bounced into the dining room and sat down, gazing at their soup with hungry eyes as their father brought glasses of water over and sat down. "Yes, Prince Justin. You see, Sophie broke the spell he had on him, but the only way you can break that particular spell is with true love's kiss. And he was very much taken with Sophie. So I thought, you can't get any better than true love, so he must be the right man for her!"

Ben stiffened in his seat and briefly contemplated what exactly his wife had done.

"So," she continued, "I sent a letter straight away to the king, asking if Justin would like to meet up with Sophie for, I don't know, tea or something, and-"

Soup flew everywhere as Ben chocked, coughing and spluttering and yelling above it all: "You- sent a- letter to the- sodding king- to ask if- the crowned - Prince- of- Ingary- _wanted tea_ _with your sister?!"_

Both girls giggled as their mother calmly mopped up the mess on the table and continued as though their father had never interrupted.

"-and apparently he's still interested. So I've done a bit of arranging, with help from the king of course, and as soon as we have Justin's consent, they'll be officially dating!"

Lily and Rose jumped down and hugged their mother goodnight. Ben had put all the washing up in the basin and was standing by the window, staring out of it. "This isn't going to end well." He said softly.

"What do you mean?" Lettie asked, recognising the look in his eyes that meant he was worried.

"When Howl was alive, she was a force of nature. So full of energy and passion. So happy. Now he's gone, she's a book with all the pages ripped out. There's still something there, granted, but it's a machine. And I've watched her run like that, mechanically, for years now, pretending that she doesn't blame herself, but it's just a mask." He walked to the door. "And the thing about masks, Lettie," he said, opening it, "is that they never stay on for long."

(-)

I sat next to Markl's bed and hummed the lullaby we'd both become so familiar with. He was getting older now, less in need of these bedtime singing sessions, but he never asked me to stop, so I didn't. His eyes started to droop as I sang the first verse, stood up and quietly started backing up towards the door.

"Sophie." He whispered as I was closing the door.

I turned to see him bolt upright again, staring at me sadly. "Yes, Markl?" I replied.

"Sophie, I can't sleep tonight. Can you sing your song?"

I froze. Memories flashed before me, too quick for me to grab them. I shook my head. Not that song. Not our song. Please.

His big brown eyes pleaded with me as I closed the door slowly and backed away.

That song. I couldn't face that song again.

Ever.

(-)

He came up behind me, kissed the top of my head, and locked his arms in a death grip around my slender frame. I smiled sadly and turned around in his tight grip. He saw the worry in my eyes and brushed my hair behind my ears. "You shouldn't worry about me when I go on these trips, Sophie. You know I'm going to be fine. Granted, I'm going to be away slightly longer this time, but I promise as soon as I get back we're going to spend some quality time together. Besides, I have something important to ask you when we get back." He smiled mischeviously, enjoying the fact that he knew something that I didn't. I couldn't help but smile back.

He kissed my forehead and stepped back through the open door, loading the last of his bags into the car that waited for him in the streets of Porthaven. He turned to me one last time and kissed me. "Okay, I really have to go now. I've already said goodbye to Markl and Calcifer, so look after them for me. I'll be home soon," he said, slipping out of the door and into the passenger side of the car. The driver started the engine. I stood in the doorway and watched the car, an unusual sight in a poor town like Porthaven, roll slowly away.

"I love you!" He called, waving and smiling.

"I love you too, so come back soon!" I cried, trying to smile just as wide and coming up short. A strange feeling, one of guilt and fear, came rushing over me, but it disappeared as suddenly as it had come.

If only I'd known that the most important thing in my life had just driven away to his doom.

(-)

 **Four years later**

As far as princes went, Justin was among the handsomest. With his bouncy blond hair, intelligent gray eyes, perfect manners and sharp wit he had caused many a young lady to fall for him. And yet he himself only thought about one young lady.

Sophie.

The girl who had broken his spell. The girl who, even six years later, still enchanted him, body and soul.

Sophie.

The girl who danced across his dreams, smiled within his memories, haunted his thoughts.

Sophie Hatter, who was once off-limits. But who wasn't now. He shook himself violently. He couldn't think like that! Sophie wasn't just some toy that went in and out of availability! She was a person!

And yet, the last time he's seen her, she hadn't seemed like a person. More like a shell. An empty, hollow thing, yet so full of raw emotion that it hurt to be near her. And he knew why. Because of Howl.

When his parents died, he shut himself out from the world and blamed himself. He ruined his life torturing himself over something he wasn't even responsible for. He argued with his brother, the new king, over everything. The staff, the generals, the war that his brother wanted to have. Before he'd known what he was doing, he'd left the palace to clear his head and had a spell put on him! And then he'd had to hop all the way to Wizard Howl's Moving Castle seeking help, only to get stuck in a hedge. The hedge that Sophie had freed him from.

He cursed in frustration. It was as though whatever he thought about, she would somehow find a way to make it about her. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

At that moment, the royal messenger rushed in with a letter bearing the prince's name. He bowed low, and offered it up. Justin took the note and thanked the messenger, who ran from the room in that odd, squirrel-like jog of his. He scanned the letter quickly, then read it through again. And again. And again.

Sophie. Sophie was... Coming here? To see him? At last? And with her sister? He couldn't make any sense of it. Why the sudden change of heart? Unless...

Prince Justin ran from the room, leaving the letter that said Sophie Hatter loved him behind.


End file.
